Fat Women Have Invaded The Super Model Industry!!!!

A blight has been cast like a shadow over our great nation! The very essence of our masculinity is being threatened! I have an enormous opinion on the subject that I must share, for the good of Man Kind! Gigantic women are being permitted to participate in the largest Woman Parade Event in our country, the Fashion Week of New York! Think of the horror! Obese, fat, portly, hefty cows with rolls of undulating flesh dragging behind them as they trundle down the runway of what was once the largest and most aesthetically pleasing livestock exhibition in the nation- the Fashion Industry! Since I was a boy, my senses have been tickled and my eros enthralled by trips to these wonderful events, wherein bevies of beautiful Woman Creatures were paraded shamefully before my eyes, their freakishly long, bony legs exposed, their ribs jutting through the sheer fabric of whatever that garbage that they were wearing was, their flat chests glistening with sweat that rolled easily down to their stomachs because there were no curves to halt its flow. My God, it was beautiful.

But not anymore! Fat women! Fat women!

I purchased my ticket to the Fashion Week of New York as I always do- with a very slight expression of glee on my normally stony, stoic face. Had I the capacity to smile like an idiot, I would have been doing just that. I took my seat and waited anxiously until the lights dimmed and the incessant chatter of the plebes around me faded to a musical silence. My heart raced with joy; the time had come for the Super Models to waltz across the stage. And waltz, they did! They were trained well, these Super Models; they knew not where they were going, but they wandered aimlessly about with a sense of determination that I found admirable. And as soon as they realized that the platform on which they were wandering led to a dead end, they confusedly turned around and wandered away, searching for what must have been some sort of a piece of money or a diamond ring, the scent of which lured them out for my visual pleasure.

But then, disaster! Fat Women!

At first, I thought it to be a mistake. A Fat Woman came bobbling along, bouncing and jiggling merrily down the platform! My beloved Super Models were in danger! A wandering Fat Person was in their midst, and it was only a matter of time, with all of the walking, before she grew hungered and began to feast on their beautiful, colorless flesh! “Watch out!” I cried out to them, “A Fat Woman has breached the perimeter of the Fashion Event of New York!” I heard gasps of horror and, as I looked about me, I saw the disgust and contempt in the eyes of everyone around me and I knew I had saved the day. They looked to me for guidance, expressions of horror still glued to their faces from the realization of what was happening. I had to act! I charged forward, prepared to lay down my life for the smiting of this Fat Woman, but suddenly, Men In Suits!!! I was tackled and wrestled to the floor! My confusion was great; I screamed out, “I am not the Fat Woman! Tackle the Fat Woman! She is thither!” But when I looked up, I realized that she was not alone.

Dozens of them, perhaps thousands, twaddled their way across the stage, and I knew we were overcome. “Run!” I screamed. “Throw the women and children at them to keep them occupied! All is lost!” I wormed out of the grasp of the Men In Suits and, pushing aside everyone I could reach, hoping to create obstacles and distractions for the invading hordes of Fat Women to prevent them from pursuing me, I burst through the fire exit door, setting off the fire alarm, and ran out into the night. Behind me I heard sirens, and I knew that the event was being consumed in flames. I cheered silently for my survival as I summoned my coach to bring me home. Better them than me.

A week later, somebody told me that the event had been planned this way, and the Fat Women were not invading- nay, they had been permitted to join the ranks of the Super Models! Nay, even worse, they had been requested! And now, here I am, outraged!!!! If something is not done, then not only will all of our Super Models be in terrible danger, but all of the innocents who perished in the flames of the New York Fashion Week died in vain!