Robber-Barons of a Different Sort

Greeting to all our esteemed readers! Returning from a year-long inspection of my textile mills spread across the rice paddies of the far orient, I find that many of my fellow Americans have become certifiably punch-drunk over what some politicians are calling "regulation" of banking.

Certainly, true patriots would see this as nothing but a fiendish attempt to besmirch the good names of America's most industrious! Still, this chicanery easily sways the fool-hardy temperaments of America's poor-the same lazy citizens who refuse to take advantage of our great nations God given wealth, preferring to wallow in the filth with which they are well acquainted.

I ask those men, if they may indeed stand as men against our great captains of industry, where are your railroads, your mills, your refineries and canneries? If it is indeed you who call for this devilish "regulation" of our entrepreneurial spirit, I can only scoff. Simpletons such as you could never staunch the tides of our glorious capitalism!

If even one of you can stand against these most accurate accusations, I offer not one but two of my finest dining cars and 100 of my most servile and submissive laborers. A boast against which I'm sure no man will claim victory.